workshop 
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in issue five
Scintillations
My Final Phone Call
Master Of My Fate
Almost Famous Photographers
Bugs
Cubicle Hell
Breaking Out Of My Cocoon
Letters To My Younger Self 
Boundaries & Walls
Surviving Today
Adventures In Chalking
Books That Changed My Life
Declare What You Are
My Most Brave Moment
Masks of Bravery  
Love And God
Moody Girl

poetry
Vocalizing
Bravery
The Imaginary "You"

afterthoughts
comments from our readers

contributors

take me back
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future issues
Issue Six: Friendship
Issue Seven: Trust

previous issues
Issue One: Change
Issue Two: Balance
Issue Three: Spring
Issue Four: Goddess

I find my mind wandering to those on United Flight 93 on Tuesday, September 11th.  I have talked to people I know who knew people on this flight and have followed the corresponding news stories closely.  The people on Flight 93 who had cell phones called their loved ones to tell them what was happening, and to say good-bye.  I think of the passengers making that final phone call.  In a single moment the universe shifted for them forever.  All of a sudden these people were confronted with having to say everything that had been left unsaid up until then.  If the people on the flight got past the initial shock of it, they may have realized that they had to say good-bye to everyone in their life through one person, minutes before they were to die.  They must have clutched the phone, which connected them to their beloved family member, for their final moments on Earth.  They only had a few minutes, or less, to bring a lifetime of relationships to a close.  I think of this, and I can’t stop crying about it.

I imagine myself on this flight, knowing that I will most likely die.  I hear from my fellow passengers (who have talked to their husbands, wives, moms, dads, brothers and sisters) that two planes were intentionally crashed into the World Trade Center twin towers, and that speculation is that our flight is headed for a similar fate.  I think about where our plane is headed and I am chilled to my core.  I blankly stare at the cell phone in my hand and consider the following:

Who will I call?

What will I say?

Should I call my mom?  No, she’ll likely be too upset to listen to what I have to say.  Do I call my Dad?  No, I might get voicemail.  Shall I call my sisters Sarah or Mary?  They both already clearly know how I feel, as I consistently let my family know how much I love and care about them.  Have I left things unsaid with anyone in my life?  Yes, I have.  It is clear to me that I would call my best friend Christa and say the following:

“I don’t know how much time I have to say this, so please just listen to me.  I love you more than I have loved any other human being in my lifetime.  I am sorry for any pain I have caused you.  I am sorry for making so many promises that I didn't keep--from cleaning our apartment to spending the rest of our lives together.  I wish you all the love, happiness, and peace that your life can bear.  I hope that you will someday look back on our relationship with joy and wonder.  Please tell my Mom, Dad, Sisters, Brother, Brother-In-Law, Step-Mom, Grandmother, and my friends that I love them with all my heart.  Good-bye, I hope to see you on the other side.”

Please know that I have not written this article in order to upset you, or Christa, or my family.  I wrote it because I cannot live another minute without the people in my life fully understanding how important they are to me.  All of us have people in our lives that love and support us unconditionally, people who would do anything to help us find the path to happiness in life.  My family, Christa, and my friends have done that and a whole lot more for me, for which I am eternally grateful.

All of us have a “final phone call” out there.  If you are reading this, then you have the profound gift of having the opportunity to make that phone call, and many more like it, without having to say the “good-bye” at the end.  I urge you to take that opportunity now, while you still have it.  Life is too precious to wait for the “someday” that may never come. 

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