in issue four
Scintillations
Purple Bikini
Saraswati
Change In Air
Sarah's Gift
Fairy Chimes
Real Dreams
Xena
Writer?
Younger Self
Fledgling Artiste
Goddess Poetry
No McD's In Cuba
AF Photographers
Goddess On Phone
Moody Girl
Met The Goddess
To My Mother
Life Changing Books
Girl Crushes
Universe Spoke
Visualize This!
Contributors

take me back
to the cover
to contents page 

in every issue
What Do You Think?
Subscribe To Be Real
Write or Photograph 
For Be Real Magazine

future issues
Issue Five: Bravery
Issue Six: Friendship

previous issues
Issue One: Change
Issue Two: Balance
Issue Three: Spring

I never believed in goddesses. In fact, the whole goddess movement puzzled me to no end. Identifying one’s self as a goddess just seemed so self-serving and ridiculous. I mean, how real is that, anyway? Do men bow down before them, and worship these so-called goddesses? Is their likeness found on any home altars? Can they perform magic and miracles?

No way, Jose – I mean Josephine!

Or, at least that's what I thought until about a month ago. I now believe in goddesses and their ilk. And while I still don't find it in my heart to worship them, or place their likeness on my home altar, I've come to believe that even the most ordinary-sounding woman could be a goddess in disguise, with the ability to perform magic, miracles, and to infuse the hopeless with new hope.

So how did this curmudgeonly non-believer come to believe in goddesses? Well, it all began when I used my telephone as a medium to another realm of understanding.

Every weekday morning, I listen to a local radio station as I get ready for work. I'll be quite honest: the tunes suck. However, I ignore the sin of crappy music because the morning crew is funny, friendly, and keeps me amused during my transition time from sleepy, coneheaded girl into polished, smooth-haired career woman. This particular morning show is full of guests, and once a month, they feature a psychic astrologer out of Florida known as “Hey Renee.”  She uses her star-power to give out advice on relationships, career, and love. With her New York accent and no holds barred approach, she’s one of the morning show’s favorite guests. While I don't believe in astrology, I found her to be entertaining, and began to look forward to her monthly "appearance" on the show.

One day, I awoke feeling lost and desperate. Everything in my life seemed to be on hold. There were layoffs at work, making it near impossible to have any hope of moving up the ladder. My social life was going nowhere, fast. To top it all off, my boyfriend and I were on a "break," and I was wondering if we'd get back together. I just wanted someone to turn to who could make it all better. Someone who could give me some hope and a glimpse of a better future.

Someone like this psychic astrologer I listened to on the radio!

As if hearing my desperate, yet silent, call for affirmation, the morning show crew announced that Hey Renee would be on their show shortly. If there were any callers out there who wanted one question answered, they needed to call in right then. I dropped my hairdryer and ran to my phone, frantically dialing the number. "Please let me through, please let me through," I prayed.

I could hear the phone ring on the other end. A familiar voice said "Good morning, and welcome to the Mix." I said that I was calling in to talk to the psychic. I was asked my name, then told I would be put on hold and someone would be with me shortly.

My heart started to beat wildly. I couldn't believe it! I was actually going to be able to talk to her! Oh my God. What would I say? What would I ask? More importantly, what would she say?

After a few minutes, that same familiar voice came back on the line. I was surprised... I had been talking to the disc jockey earlier! He answers his own calls. I was totally impressed, and not paying attention when he said "Now we have Pamela on the line. Pamela, say 'Hey’ to Renee."

"Hey Renee!" I said, trying to sound natural, yet sensing she could tell I was actually a bit nervous.

"Good morning, Pamela," was her reply. "What's your birth date and time of birth, too, if you know it?"

I stuttered out that information, hoping that no one I knew was listening. I didn't want anyone to discover my true age.

She told me she pulled out her chart and then said, "You're a Scorpio, but you're one of those rare ones: a nice Scorpio. You also have a great sense of humor. Do you know that?"

"Uh, well, sort of. I mean, I think I'm funny, but I can't speak for others." Oh God. Did I really say that on the air? What a dorkette!  However, right then the disc jockey chuckled, and I felt a bit better.

Then Renee asked what she could do for me. "Well, uh, I feel like my life is at a standstill right now. I feel like I'm in limbo, both with my career and my relationship. Can you tell me if things are going to change?"

"What do you care more about, your career or your relationship?"

"My relationship," I admitted.

She proceeded to tell me that I was in love with love, and that could be a problem sometimes. However, she told me that in this case, if I could just hold on for awhile, everything would work out just fine. My hunkarama would eventually choose to be with me, but it was going to take a bit longer and I'd just have to be patient.

The disk jockey then interrupted and said they'd have to move on to the next caller. He wished me luck, and hung up the phone.

I was wildly giddy after the call. I danced through my morning routine, hugging myself internally and smiling like a fiend. My guy and I were going to get back together! The psychic told me so! Woo hoo!

She was right, though... it did take awhile. Two more months, in fact. But, the man of my dreams did choose me, and things are now better than ever.

I heard her again on the radio the other day, and realized that goddesses do exist. She’s living proof.

I mean, what is a goddess, after all? Isn't it really someone that can be looked up to and relied on for hope? For truth? Someone who knows they have a gift to offer, and uses that gift for good? The answer is yes, yes, and YES! And, if that's what a goddess is, then I really did encounter one on the telephone that lonely morning, and she changed my life. I am now and forever a believer.